Dear Mr. Steward, I guess you did convince me to start writing. And I want to start by asking you one question: When does reason become irrelevant? Fundamentally, if you were to ask why something is the way it is, the natural regression takes the mind back to an origin or a root. Often we do not understand this root and that is what we do not understand about this crazy brain of ours. But it is nonetheless true. It is, therefore, necessarily true that to find a root we must ask why; we must seek to receive the answers.
This balance that we strike between who we were when we were born, who we become because of what we experience and who we should be from what they tell us is eternally an ebb and flow. I have doubted the relevance of reading or writing or even thinking. We have become so complacent that even with such drastic changes around us, we fail to see our capacity to adapt and reinvent. Evolution, as Darwin put it, and as God showed Moses, is good. Hope is lost when thoughts do not evolve.
Our lives are like ripples in a pond of ideas just like this earth is a ripple in the universal ocean. To understand the two as the same is easy to theoretically say, as I am doing now; but indeed, the most difficult task is to practically believe, live, and implement this harmony. There is a reason why two harmonizing notes sound better than two sounds that have adversarial wavelengths; discord distorts the order, all the way from the atom to the universe.
The most relatable organism that I can think of would be us: us physically and emotionally, the organs beneath this large sheath we call skin; the tissues that make these organs; the cells that make these tissues; the structures that make these cells; the chemicals that these cells emit for and from the chemicals we introduce into our bodies; and finally, the molecular and atomic structures of the chemicals within ourselves, from what we are to what we ingest. Like famous and brilliant men have said, every action has a reaction. So from that atomic state to our intellectual cognizance we experience the consequence of what we ingest. This consumer mentality, in its most distilled form, yields a well-balanced organism. It works theoretically because we presume that the human mind will conform to what is most reasonable.
The reality, however, is much different. It is more a reality that the human mind conforms to what is most agreeable. I find this ironic because we think first of survival and sustenance like our differently evolved, hairier cousins. So although we share this harmony in living with other creatures, we have somehow lost the art of living in harmony. So now we lead a discorded, flawed existence requiring that we continue to ask why. For even the universe does not operate without flaws; otherwise we would not exist. Here we come to another impasse; now between God and Science.
I see God as Science and science as god. For one could not exist without the other. God is the inconceivable creation of existence. Still, while we are specks in God’s plan, unable to see the vastness of existence, we fundamentally contain the same design implemented throughout the universe; a constant strive to harmonize with the bigger picture, to find answers, to understand and define existence.
I suppose that would be the concept of infinity as well. That no matter how close you look into a pixel of color, if the eye could go further, it could, theoretically, still see a color difference. This truth that even in seeming harmony dissonance plays a part is the evolution of thought that gives a common man faith in his fellow beings.
You see that because otherwise you would not have the faith to live a legacy even when you were uncertain of a future in harmony. By legacy, I mean, of course, the anthology you have collected for a better understanding of yourself and, in the common coincidence of repetitive history, me. For this, I will be eternally grateful.
I am fascinated by your life and candor. I understand, yet have a difficult time realizing, what you made possible; being brutally honest with yourself and with others about who you fundamentally are despite the enormous, and often blatant, adversities against your core identity. You found a way, at every turn of your life, to maneuver around the inconvenience of stagnancy just find a certain peace in your heart. I try. But then I have this fear within me. I ask myself whether the harmonious wanting comes from a selfish love or a love for what is true about everything; that we are all one and should be treated as one.
I must admit that day-to-day I practice a hypocritical life. For example, petroleum prices are spiking now across the country. Ironically, we still pay less per gallon of car fuel than most other countries. I see this discrepancy and hypocrisy within myself when I cannot reconcile the injustice of guzzling gallons of gas in my Honda when villages could be lit for days by one tank of car fuel.
This time when we visited India, we were hurt, moved, and inspired by the plastic we saw laying around in the Sunderbans, presumptively one of the most pristine ecological environments on this planet. And it hit me; somehow, we must find a way to restore the balance. I don’t think time has anything to do with it. I don’t think we have to wait 10 or 20 years to re-adjust to the order of the universe within this planet and within ourselves; not at this time of human intellectual development. We just have to, and we must, live without fear of uncertainty. Time – a second, a minute, a nanosecond – is just how we see this world relative to how we see ourselves in this world. If we can break those chains; we can finally turn our heads to the light.
I kind of envy you, actually. You lived in a world that left room for change; therefore, leaving some hope. Not that there is no room for it now. After all, there is always an infinite amount of space for everything. But the zeal of pursuing change has been diluted by effortless abundance. All the while, an enormous amount of work goes into every single product that we, as ingesters, want. So yes, there is cause for reason; we must always ask why because otherwise I would have never met you.
With love and eternal reverence,